The routine's been the same for the past 8 years. A week, sometimes two, of sneaking around, figuring out if there is something he needs or there is something thats caught his fancy; a whole day of calling the gang up, making plans, ordering the cake, buying a gift; turning up at 12 am at his doorstep with an eggless cake and a few lopsided candles..
This year, all that seems so long ago. I still cannot believe he is gone. I still cannot come to terms with the fact that i will not land up at his doorstep on the 1st of October this year, singing happy birthday at the top of my voice and laughing at his slightly embarassed and indignant face.
So at the stroke of midnight, as the 1st of October dawns, i sit here, thinking of him and all that he meant to me.... no, correction, all that he MEANS to me. I think of how much i miss him, his laughter, his friendship, the feeling of knowing there is somebody you can count on. I also realise how important it was for me spend 8 years of my life knowing him, being his friend and having him as a friend.
This year there is no sneaking around, there are no eggless cakes to order, no midnight trips to his place. This year i wont see his face light up on opening presents, i wont hear the flick of his lighter as he lights up a cig, there will be no irate and embarassed voice asking us to stop howling happy birthday.... But.... even in the absence of all this, he will still be on my mind today, just like he was all these years...
Happy Birthday Tiks! Here's to another year of celebrating You....
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3 comments:
for those who knew him always know that he lives with us every day, every hour, every second and for me; i never had an angel so he is my angel making sure all of us are safe :), happy b'day dude :)
that was beautiful rash, am sure he is reading this whereever he is and maybe chuckling coz he got away easy this time around, nobody howling "happy birthday" on his doorstep!!!
I liked the way you corrected yourself from meant to MEAN. People leave us, not their memories or what they mean to us. The beautiful moments they give us are still to be cherished. And i think there is no befitting way to remember a person on a birthday.
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